How to Be Happy, Finally!

Happiness is an inside game. Learn how to play this game and life can be a lot of fun. Life can be juicy and interesting. It can be delightful and ecstatic. It can be satisfying. In this article I want to share some ideas on how you can be happy and finally relax.

Remember, our goal is happiness – that’s our target.

When we normally play the game of happiness it goes something like this.   I’m going to buy this DVD, this Xbox, this piece of furniture, this car, this home, I’ll get married and have kids, and start that new business… and once I do all of that, I will finally be happy… maybe someday.

Back in 2003 I lapsed through the same mental process.  I bought myself a brand new Nissan 350Z sportscar.  The car was great and I loved it.

A few years later, I wasn’t so happy with the $800 monthly payments and the inconvenience of riding my bicycle in the winter just to get to the train station… just because sports cars aren’t built for Canadian winters, who knew?

My biggest realization was this: having a sportscar wasn’t going to make me happy.  It was only a temporary patch. It felt nice to drive the car and I enjoyed it, but I felt that something bigger was still missing.

Being Happy Truth #1:

Anytime you rely on the outside world to make you happy, you are working with a temporary solution. Do this often enough and you create a belief system – what I call the chasing mentality – where you chase after the things you want to have because you think they will make you happy.  Also read: Chasing the Dream

So many people I meet and connect with on a daily basis want to play the game of happiness – they really and sincerely want to be happy. They have read all the books on happiness and have listened to all the CD’s, but they don’t know the rules of the game.

I started my first blog with the same ignorance.  Back in 2007, my goal was to earn an online income – to earn passive income from my blog.  I wrote articles every month for an entire year. Hours and hours spent writing for my blog and at the end of that year I made a whopping $302.06.

Fast forward to 2010 and I now have months where I earn anywhere from $1,200 to $3,500 per month.  The game hasn’t changed, but the way I play has.

Being happy is no different.  If you’re going to play, learn the game. It’s a game and you need to know the rules. You need to know how to go about it so you guarantee you succeed at being happy.

Being Happy Truth #2:

Learn the rules of the game you want to play. Being happy is a game. Play by the rules and you will guarantee your success.

If you look at happiness on an emotional scale, it’s brother and sisters with joy, contentment and satisfaction. They all fall into the same gene pool – they are positive emotions you want to emulate if you desire to be happy. Those types of emotions are not going to come from the news, watching political debates or the negative people in your life.

Your environment is a real source of programing in your life. It affects the way you think and feel at an unconscious level. The longer you are exposed to negative people in a toxic environment the deeper you impact your inner thoughts and feelings.

Choose an environment that will put you in a positive frame of reference. Surround yourself with people who raise your energy and bring you up.

Being Happy Truth #3:

You can’t be hopeful and optimistic while watching the news. You can’t be happy when you’re consistently being dragged down by the negative people in your environment. Increase your probability of happiness by moving to a positive environment.

Someone who is overjoyed, content and satisfied with their life also has a sense of inner peace and calmness. This calmness comes from being clear. Let me explain.

If you take an orange and really squeeze it, what comes out?

Orange juice. And the harder you squeeze, the more orange juice you get. Now what happens when you squeeze a person?

You get a reaction. You get an emotional response. Most people are rotten oranges. They are uncontrolled reactions to past memories and experiences that are stored within them.

They couldn’t let the juice out even if they wanted to because they have too much crap locked up inside them. If you want to shine and be truly happy, you have to clear the crap.

Being Happy Truth #4:

Clear the crap and negative memories in your life. Happy people are clear. The more clear you are, the happier you’ll be.  You can read more about this here: Why Being Happy With Yourself is Harder Than Being Miserable

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being content and 1 being miserable, how happy are you? What do you think is missing? What can you change today?


  • I’m The Happiest Person I Know!

    I choose to be happy no matter how much crap life dishes up to me. I make it my philososphy to enjoy every possible moment of my life. You never know when you’re going to be called home. So I try (and succeed) in enjoying this wonderful physical experience.

    Live Life Happy!

  • Steve

    Reply Reply November 15, 2010

    I’ll take that as a perfect 10 Jacqueline!

  • Ande Waggener

    Reply Reply November 17, 2010

    In the last couple years, almost everything that can go wrong did go wrong (a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea. I finally realized it would keep going wrong unless I could find happiness in the midst of it. And I have done that. And things are turning. I’ve gone from a 1 to a 7 in the last few months, and I have moments of perfect ten. It’s all about the choice, isn’t it?

  • Steve

    Reply Reply November 17, 2010

    Absolutely Ande… happiness is something we continually choose for our selves – and the only way you can get to that place of actually choosing is to move away from victimization and towards a place where you – we all our – 100% responsible for our lives, the way we feel, what we think and our current state of well being… and once you get there (internally) is it ever fun and juicy :-)

    That’s great that you were able to turn things around Ande… and the more you shift the way you feel inside, the better things turn out ;)

  • JohnRobbins

    Reply Reply November 23, 2010

    There’s no doubt that choice is king when it comes to happiness.
    Being grateful and loving the moment for everything that it is.
    Truly…being happy is the belief that everything is wonderful because the moment is what it is supposed to be for what ever reason.
    If the moment is sucking,…decide what you are to learn from the moment and be grateful for what you learned.
    You can “ALWAYS” learn something valuable from “ANY” moment.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply November 23, 2010

    Great insight John…

    “You can ALWAYS learn something valuable from ANY moment.”

  • Greg

    Reply Reply December 13, 2010

    You talk about “clearing the crap,” but you do not mention how to do that. So, how do you do that? Do you have an article on it?

  • Steve

    Reply Reply December 13, 2010

    Hi Greg – watch this video interview here: How to Release Resistance…

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