Does Raising Self Esteem Improve Your Quality of Life?

It absolutely does. There are no two ways about it.   Your quality of life is driven by your choices and your self esteem or self image directly affects what you choose.

Think about it. What defines a good quality of life?

Is it having stuff?  Is it what you do?  Are these things important?

Not really.  I know a lot of people who thought that having a bigger house, a better car and even having a babe would make them happier.  But then they realized the god-awful truth. Having more or better stuff doesn’t increase your quality of life. In some cases it even hinders it.

For me, it’s real simple. A good quality of life comes down to one word: freedom.  If you’re free, then your quality of life increases exponentially.

Create Real Freedom

Freedom is the freedom to choose your thoughts, choose your friends and choose your career; it’s choosing the type of cake you want on your birthday or choosing the car you want to drive.  It’s choosing the lifestyle you want to live.

If you’re not actively making these choices, then you’re not free. The happiest people I know are choosing freely. They go after what they want and they are happy because they are doing what they love. That’s real freedom.

If you don’t choose then someone else might choose for you. That seems to be the default way most people operate.  There is no “have to” or “should do” here. It’s all I-WANT-TO.

But most people operate from a different place. They say,

  • “I have to be successful”
  • “I have to be a professional speaker”
  • “I have to date this girl”
  • “I have to get this job”
  • “I have to have that car.”
  • “I have to go to work”
  • “I have to get this so I can do that.”

That’s not real freedom. Anytime you operate from a “have-to” or a “should-do” you create resistance. And this resistance leads to struggle, frustration and in some cases anger and resentment.  Then you wonder why you’re so upset at the world.

Stop doing what you “have-to” do and start doing what you really want to do.  Make a choice.  That’s real freedom.

It doesn’t matter who you are, you’ve always got a choice. Knowing that at any moment you can choose who you want to BE. And by choosing who you want to be you create real freedom.

So you can plainly see that freedom is the key to living a good quality of life.  As your ability to choose freely becomes more important than what you “have-to” or “should-do,” your quality of life increases too!

Improve Your Self Esteem and Your Life Improves

But that’s not the reality for most people.  They are not choosing.  Instead they’re doing what their spouse thinks they should do; they’re doing what their parents think they should do; they’re doing what their government thinks they should do. They’re doing what everyone else thinks they should do, except what they think.

Why are you doing that?

Because you’re operating from a poor self image.  The problem is that you probably didn’t choose that either.

Who do you choose to hang around with?

Most people hang around with losers. They hang around with people who are less than them so that they can feel better about themselves.  And this choice comes from a lack of self esteem and a fragile self image.

The reason you’re doing this in the first place is because you don’t feel “worthy enough” to be with people who are more successful than you.  You feel intimidated by them and maybe even threatened by them.  You feel inferior to them – and it’s all because of one reason: you lack the self image and self confidence to be seen with these more successful people.

Your self image is the driving force of all of your choices.  Feel confident?  Make bolder moves – take bigger actions.

Feeling inferior?  You hold back, withdraw and go into hiding.

Your freedom to choose is driven by your self image.  Improve your self image and your choices improve. Raise your self esteem and your quality of life improves. That’s real freedom.

Are you living the life you really want? Are you performing at your peak potential? Are you living the quality of life you really deserve?

Why not?  What’s holding you back?


  • Walter

    Reply Reply May 31, 2010

    Having real freedom to follow our heart is not easy for most to follow. However, you are right that in order to be truly happy we must have genuine freedom. It is our choice to allow it unto ourselves, but most of the time we are blinded by our subservience to the whims of others as well as our ignorance. :-)

  • Steve

    Reply Reply May 31, 2010

    Hey Walter – you totally nailed it. It’s our ignorance as to “what may be possible” that keeps us caged in our current reality.

    Great blog btw – just checked your out.

  • This page really gave a lot of ideas and thoughts.Ive explore ur site through your articles and comments.Nice to have one like this,how i wish,Good luck always…:-)

  • Steve

    Reply Reply June 15, 2010

    Thanks Jackie,

    Btw – I’m looking for new content ideas… are there any specific topics you’d like to see more of?

  • barb elgin

    Reply Reply June 25, 2010

    Self esteem is a topic close to my heart as a love coach. What do the researchers say? I’m not totally versed in the literature on the topic, but I believe they say qualities such as resilience underlie self esteem. Resilience has to do with ‘soldiering’ on, no matter what. Think about the concentration camp people who survived – what was it that kept them going?

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