How to Gain Lost Confidence and Take a Fearless Step

“Right now, in this moment, you are capable of exponential improvement in your performance.  You don’t have to settle for things as they are now.  That can change.  Dramatically.  You haven’t been reaching your full potential.  So far, you haven’t even come close.” ~ Price Pritchett

Now for most of us we’ve been taught that the best way to grow and become more is by trying harder.  You’ve got to push on through your feelings and do it.   Trying harder is how you accomplish more.  I’m sure you’ve heard that before.

The problem with always pushing yourself is that it leads to physical symptoms like burnout, fatigue and exhaustion.   The harder you try, the worse you feel and in some cases, the less you accomplish.

Not only does this approach create burnout, but it can also creates negative emotional states and feelings like frustration, worry and fear.

Fear is the strongest of all negative emotions.  It’s a dream killer and it’s the reason that many people have trouble moving forward with what’s important to them.

As an example let’s say you’re looking at a new career.  You would really like to start writing and being more creative because you want to use more of your natural talents and unique abilities.

On the outside it seems like a good idea, but on the inside you have these doubts and fears.  You think to yourself,

  • “What if I’m not good enough?”
  • “What if I’m not smart enough.”
  • “What if I’m not qualified?”
  • “What if they don’t like me?”
  • “What if I’m too old?”
  • “What if I’m too young?”

What if, what if, what if?  All these doubts running through your mind.  So on the outside you really want to take steps to make this new career happen, but on the inside you feel like you’re going through hell trying to get there.  You feel stuck.

On one side of the coin you have this desire to grow and express more of who you really are and on the other side your fear is keeping you stuck.  Your mind is trying to balance your fears and desires – where one part of you really wants this new career and the other part is resisting.

So how do you get around it?

I’m glad you asked.  What we want to do is understand what exactly is controlling your internal thermostat; this balance between your fears and desires.  Because once you know how to engage your desires and eliminate your fear, anything is possible.

Your Internal Thermostat

Let’s say the temperature in your house is 25 C (77 F) and you adjust your thermostat and to 20 C (68 F).   After some time, the thermostat will respond and drop down the temperature of your home to this new temperature.  Let’s say you set the thermostat to 30 C (86F).  Again, after a certain period of time the temperature of your home will rise to this setting on the thermostat; just as your internal thermostat controls the point of equilibrium in your mind.

You see this internal thermostat controls your emotions.  Learn how to control your emotions and it becomes much easier to move forward with your dreams and desires.

Here’s how this works.

Start to seed new thoughts into your mind every morning for 5 minutes.  The goal of this activity is to start feeling good.  This activity will shift your point of equilibrium and create a virtual you – not the real you – but a digital version of yourself as you wish in your mind.

Now what happens is that you will naturally magnetize and start to grow and in the direction of your virtual self because you’ve eliminated the only thing that was standing in your way in the first place – your fear.

The fear no longer exists because you’ve given your internal thermostat a new point of attraction; the virtual version of yourself.  This new point of attraction will naturally pull you towards it – instead of you trying to push up to it.  Now you’ll be moving with the current of life, instead of against it :)


  • Sandra Hendricks

    Reply Reply February 17, 2010

    I like what you have expressed in this post. This is an excellent way for us to develop our desire, which is what we need. When our wants and needs, align, we develop the passion it takes to let go of our anxieties that hold us back.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply February 17, 2010

    Thanks Sandra – you would think that expressing our inner desires would be an easy thing to do, not always ;)

  • How to Build Confidence

    Reply Reply February 19, 2010

    Good people around you will help you build self confidence. If you want to build up your confidence, do something new every day.

  • Shayan

    Reply Reply February 22, 2010

    Hi Steve,

    I always like reading such motivational stuff..but you have presented such an intersting facts in really quite a different and effective way..Just Go ahead: )

    Wonderful thoughts!! Really helpful stuff!! While reading the article I feel myself motivated..
    Well, Can you plz guide further…as you said seed new thoughts every morning..can you plz elaborate this..



  • Steve

    Reply Reply February 22, 2010

    Hi Shayan,

    There are hundreds of articles on my blog and dozens that cover the topic of seeding. For starters, I’d encourage you to go and see these videos: Unconscious Mind Power Series

  • r. giridhar

    Reply Reply March 25, 2010

    Stephen I have a lot of books and attended some trainning. I feel you are the best till now. you are giving so much for free. you don’t beat around the bush like some of the so called “best” in the business. I want to thank you so much and wish you all the best and may God really bless you and your work.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply March 25, 2010

    It is my pleasure :)

  • Chitrang

    Reply Reply April 12, 2012

    Hey i used to speak very fast and often people dint understand it which gradually developed a fear of speaking in me… Now i slutter even more while speakin in public and somehow lost my confidence… and u wont deny that public speaking is important professionally…. Sometimes i even cant speak causing voice fatigue many a times…. Your suggestions would be very kind, Sir…. thanking you in anticipation

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