Integrity and Completions

In my last post, I covered the definition for being in integrity. Integrity means to be honest, whole and complete. You do this by owning your word. In order to truly feel in integrity you must take action and follow through with your completions. The act of completing puts you back in integrity.

Incompletions & Trust

The thing with failing to follow through with your completions is that at some point others begin to lose trust in you. Every time you declare to others that you’re going to do something and then you don’t, people begin to wonder about you. They begin to question your credibility and doubt you. People who begin to doubt you might say, “I don’t know about this guy. I don’t know if I can trust him. I don’t know if I can take him for his word. He seems to be full of it.”

The problem is with your completions. Once you have something incomplete, not only do others begin to loose trust in you, but you begin to loose trust in you. Your higher self begins to doubt you. You say things but they don’t happen and so you begin to loose trust in yourself. When you loose trust in yourself, you begin to feel guilty. This guilt can manifest into self criticism and negative self talk which impacts your self-confidence and reduces your ability to perform.

This is exactly where I was last week. I had a full list of tasks that I was going to complete by Monday morning. That didn’t happen. Over the weekend I was dabbling with a few things but I didn’t completely finish any one task. I had a bunch of things half done and it was starting to bother me.

On Monday, Trish and I agreed to start moving into our new home. The only problem was that I had this laundry list of to-do’s left over from the weekend. I was feeling overwhelmed. My energy was low and I was having trouble getting motivated. Trish also noticed and mentioned it to me. This is when I started to look at myself a little closer. I started to look at why things weren’t working and why I was feeling so down.

I kept looking and began to notice something. I noticed a pattern. The pattern became very clear to me. I had gotten into a habit of starting something and then stopping. I had gotten into the habit of doing ‘half-tasks’. I kept doing this over and over which eventually accumulated into a list of half-done tasks.

Completion No. 1

At the end of the week this started to drive me nuts, so I decided to do something about it. I woke up on Friday morning and went through my emails. I saw an email from the editor of Confidence Bound. The editor was waiting for me to respond with an article submission. That didn’t happen and I felt bad about it.

I went through my blog and sent the editor one of my blog entries. The editor was happy to received my article and I was starting to feel better. Things were starting to roll.

Completion No. 2

My second incompletion was a conference call that I had missed. This was on my mind and it was sapping energy from me at the deepest level. I knew it was in my best interests to connect with my partner and clear this up so I did.

I picked up the phone and dialed my business partner’s number. I apologized to him over the phone and took full responsibility for my behavior.

As soon as I got off the phone things began to lighten. I was starting to feel better than I had felt all week. These small changes were working. Every small completion brought more and more of my power back. I went through my list and completed all of my ‘half-tasks’.

When You’re Stuck

If you’re stuck and you’re not sure how to get back into integrity, then try this out. Make a list of the most important activities that are nagging your mind and write them out. Make a list – do it now!

Look at this list and choose the one task that is really irritating you. The one you know you should do but don’t want to. This task has been around so long that it looks like it’s starting to grow arms and legs. You know the one’s I’m talking about. Start this task first and get it done. If you can’t finish then break it into pieces and finish the first piece.

When you complete a task you reclaim your energy. The energy that was left in that incompletion is now yours. Keep working through the tasks on your list until you’ve reclaimed all your energy. Do this and you will begin to to feel your confidence and energy return.


  • Trish

    Reply Reply August 6, 2007

    Thank you for this great explanation of ‘integrity’. I do feel that I live my life with integrity, however it is disappointing and I don’t know what do do about people in my life (relative, employer) who have no integrity and it doesn’t seem to bother them.

  • Steve

    Reply Reply August 6, 2007

    Hi Trish,

    The upfront approach would be to tell these people how you feel about them, although uncomfortable it would be the only way that I know that you would be able to grow in these relationships. You might say something like,

    “Hi cousin, I know that sometimes you tell me that you want to meet up to go to the movies at times. I think this would be a lot of fun, but you have stood me up twice now and I don’t believe what you say anymore. It’s hard for me to trust your word and I thought you should know this because I want us to have the best relationship possible. A relationship where there is nothing between us. ”

    You could then listen to what she has to say about you. Being honest brings out more honesty.

    I hope that helps,


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